Remain Calm Adopt a Dog
Today’s Jokes:
An older man goes to the doctor for
a physical. The doctor tells the man the results are fine and asks him how he
is doing.
"I feel fantastic!" he
replied, "God and I have made a really strong connection lately."
The doctor finds this a little odd,
but is respectful and asks "How so?"
The man says "Well, when I wake
up to pee in the middle of the night, God turns on the light for me. And when
I'm done, he turns it off."
Now the doctor is curious as to what
the man is talking about. He sends him on his way and calls the man's wife.
"Hello ma'am this is your
husband's doctor. His checkup was fine, however he said something strange about
God turning the light on when he gets up to pee in the night, and turning it
off again when he's done."
The wife sighs and says,
"Dammit he's peeing in the fridge again."
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you". And the grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"
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A Browns fan walks into a bar with
his dog and the bartender says, "Hey bud, no pets allowed in here."
The man says, "But wait! This
is a special dog, you have to turn on the game to see. When the Browns score,
my dog does flips!"
Sure enough, when the bartender
turns on the game, the Browns make a few field goals and the dog starts
flipping and jumping after each kick.
"Wow," said the bartender,
amazed, "that's great! What does he do when they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know, I've only had
him for two years."
***************
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Funny Dog You Tube Video: Dog Eating Oatmeal
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Rick
apexgardner@gmail.com
http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/
@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/
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