Apex Lazy Dog Blog: Humor of the day

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Kong | Hamster Joke | Remain Calm Shirts | Molson Block Prints

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Kong

Today’s Jokes:

Time flies like an arrow…
Fruit flies like bananas

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A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it.

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me isn’t risqué."

"Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing Scott Joplin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly great on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

"Money or another miracle else no drink," says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Nope," says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."

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The new shirts and stickers are in! Remain Calm Adopt a Dog with Golden on them.

If you would like to order one, check out our Etsy page at:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShopBinkyandBell

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New Molson Block Print

Molson Block for Printing

Golden Molson

Orange Molson

Pink Molson

Multi Colored Molson

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick
apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day! | Jokes | Kacy and Cali Yesterday and Today | Block Printing Fun

Today’s Jokes:

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

“I love you a ton!”

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A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges, and traffic jams.
To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his co-workers to share the ride.
He soon found, however, that the commute continued to get more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.
"Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get into the tunnels and I've got those four other guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel like I'm going to explode."
Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified the ailment.
"What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"
"No, no, no, my boy. You have something very common in these parts."
"Tell me! What is it?"
"You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

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Why did the banana go out with the prune?
He couldn’t get a date!

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Kacy and Cali Yesterday and Today

Kacy's Puppy Picture at Adoption

Cali Puppy Picture

Kacy and Cali (when Cali was adopted)

Cali and Kacy Today!

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Over the past few months I have been doing block printing and having a lot of fun…Here is one of my favorites so far.

Super Dog Dollar