Happy Valentine's Day! | Jokes | Kacy and Cali Yesterday and Today | Block Printing Fun

Today’s Jokes:

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

“I love you a ton!”

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A recent college graduate took a new job in a hilly Eastern city and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges, and traffic jams.
To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his co-workers to share the ride.
He soon found, however, that the commute continued to get more stressful, especially the trips through the tunnels. He consulted the company doctor.
"Doc," the frustrated commuter complained, "I'm fine on the bridges, in the traffic, in the day and at night, and even when Joe forgets to bathe all week long. But when I get into the tunnels and I've got those four other guys crowded around me in the car, I get anxious and dizzy and feel like I'm going to explode."
Without further analysis, the doctor announced he had identified the ailment.
"What is it, Doc? Am I going insane?"
"No, no, no, my boy. You have something very common in these parts."
"Tell me! What is it?"
"You have what is known as Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

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Why did the banana go out with the prune?
He couldn’t get a date!

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Kacy and Cali Yesterday and Today

Kacy's Puppy Picture at Adoption

Cali Puppy Picture

Kacy and Cali (when Cali was adopted)

Cali and Kacy Today!

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Over the past few months I have been doing block printing and having a lot of fun…Here is one of my favorites so far.

Super Dog Dollar

Pencil design of Super Dog Dollar

Background transferred to linoleum for carving

Center and foreground transferred to linoleum for carving

Carved background

Carved Center

Original drawing, background and foreground in various stages

Final product ready for framing

 
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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick
apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

https://www.etsy.com/shop/ShopBinkyandBell

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Astro | Hearing Aid Joke | Puns

Today’s Jokes:

Melvin realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money.

"How much do they cost?" he asked the salesperson.

"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Melvin the miser.

The salesperson put the device around Melvin' neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" asked Melvin.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

 

Astro (black & white)

 

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Did you know…

• When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
• The batteries were given out free of charge.
• A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
• A will is a dead giveaway.
• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
• A boiled egg is hard to beat.
• When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
• Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
• Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
• A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
• When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
• Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

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Astro (Color)

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Homer

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Marshmallow Joke | Thanksgiving PUNishment | Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Jokes:

Last night I dreamed that I ate a 5 pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Thanksgiving PUNishment
Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested – he was charged with battery.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

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Mark Bell and I have now done a few pet adoption and craft fairs with our latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings.  Here is a few highlight pictures from a pet adoption event last weekend. Be sure to check out Mark Bell's Etsy site for all the latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings!

Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Dexter

Sit Means Sit Dog Training

Sit Means Sit Demo

If you are looking for a new pet, please consider a rescue from your local animal shelter, SPCA or rescue group. As the saying goes... Find your new best friend.

Wake County Animal Shelter Website

 

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/