Puns of Punishment | Great Dane Drawings | Navajo Woman Story | Sam The Sailor Corgi | Raleigh Community Vet Hospital | Eat Out For A Cause

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Jokes:

• I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
• She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still.
• A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

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Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

After a bit of small talk while resuming the journey, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

"What's in the bag?" asked the woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for a moment then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder said, "Good trade."

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• No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
• A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
• A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.

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The new shirts and stickers are in! Remain Calm Adopt a Dog with Golden on them.



If you would like to order one, check out our Etsy page at:



https://www.etsy.com/shop/msbART

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Artwork Featured at Raleigh Community Veterinary Hospital



Artwork by Mark Bell and myself are now on display at the Raleigh Community Veterinary Hospital.



Here are some photos:

More information on Raleigh Community Animal Hospital



Website



http://vetraleigh.com/



Facebook



https://www.facebook.com/vetraleigh




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Eat Out For A Cause



Monday, August 3, Mark and I will be hosting a fundraiser for AniMall at Qdoba in Apex.  10% of all sales will go to AniMall and their pet adoption programs. We will be selling our artwork, t-shirts and stickers and Qdoba will be giving one lucky person seven free entrees at the end of the evening. Plan to stop by, check out our art in person, grab a bite to eat and support AniMall!




More about AniMall



http://www.animall.org/

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Cali and Kacy playing dress up

Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.




Rick
apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

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@apexgardner (twitter)
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Marshmallow Joke | Thanksgiving PUNishment | Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Jokes:

Last night I dreamed that I ate a 5 pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Thanksgiving PUNishment
Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested – he was charged with battery.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

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Mark Bell and I have now done a few pet adoption and craft fairs with our latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings.  Here is a few highlight pictures from a pet adoption event last weekend. Be sure to check out Mark Bell's Etsy site for all the latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings!

Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Dexter

Sit Means Sit Dog Training

Sit Means Sit Demo

If you are looking for a new pet, please consider a rescue from your local animal shelter, SPCA or rescue group. As the saying goes... Find your new best friend.

Wake County Animal Shelter Website

 

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Guillotine Joke | Shoebox Joke | Working Like a Dog | Cary Lazy Daze

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog
Today’s Jokes:

On a beautiful Tuesday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution, a group of revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine.

They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.

The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.

Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."

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Working Like a Dog

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A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the man got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $93,000!

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, ' my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two crochet dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

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Working Like a Dog II

 






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Cary Lazy Daze

Last weekend I went to Cary's Lazy Daze celebration. Lot of great art, food, demonstrations and just plan fun.

It was there I met Kathy Lawler and Chris Fedderson with Laughter Pieces and Matt Tomko with Matt Tomko Art.  All of there folks work were inspirational for me, so I took a couple of photos and hope you will check out their websites as well.


Laughter Pieces by Kathy Lawler and Chris Fedderson

Matt Tomko Art

 


 








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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick



apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/