Marshmallow Joke | Thanksgiving PUNishment | Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Jokes:

Last night I dreamed that I ate a 5 pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Thanksgiving PUNishment
Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested – he was charged with battery.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

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Mark Bell and I have now done a few pet adoption and craft fairs with our latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings.  Here is a few highlight pictures from a pet adoption event last weekend. Be sure to check out Mark Bell's Etsy site for all the latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings!

Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Dexter

Sit Means Sit Dog Training

Sit Means Sit Demo

If you are looking for a new pet, please consider a rescue from your local animal shelter, SPCA or rescue group. As the saying goes... Find your new best friend.

Wake County Animal Shelter Website

 

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Pet Fish Joke | And they called it Puppy Love! | Remain Calm Adopt a Dog Shirts and Stickers

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Joke:

My friend Don was stopped by a game-warden at Jordan Lake recently with two buckets of fish. The game warden asked him, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"  Don replied, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take them home." "That's a bunch of baloney! Fish can't do that!"

Don looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." "O.K.  I've GOT to see this!" The game warden was curious.  Don poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

After several minutes, the game warden turned to Don and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" he responded. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" Don asked. "The FISH." "What fish?".

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 Remain Calm Adopt a Puppy!

This past week we adopted a puppy from the Wake County Animal Shelter. She is a cute little girl we have named Calli "Bubble" Gardner.  Below is a video of a visit with her and her sisters. At the shelter, these three puppies were called Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup after the Powder Puff Girls.

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 My friend Mark Bell and I recently showed our work at Apex Peakfest and sold several of our drawings. Additionally, I created a shirt and sticker of one of my drawings. See below.

Shirt

Sticker

If you are interested in a shirt, I have a few left that I will sell for $15 each (plus $5 USPS shipping). Stickers are $1 each. I have the following adult sizes: Small, Medium, Large, XL and one XXL. Email me at apexgardner@gmail.com if you would like a shirt.

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com
http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)