Marshmallow Joke | Thanksgiving PUNishment | Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog

Today’s Jokes:

Last night I dreamed that I ate a 5 pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone!

Thanksgiving PUNishment
Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested – he was charged with battery.
My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
Dijon vu -- the same mustard as before.
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

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Mark Bell and I have now done a few pet adoption and craft fairs with our latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings.  Here is a few highlight pictures from a pet adoption event last weekend. Be sure to check out Mark Bell's Etsy site for all the latest and greatest dog art and woodcarvings!

Wake County Animal Shelter Adoption Event

Dexter

Sit Means Sit Dog Training

Sit Means Sit Demo

If you are looking for a new pet, please consider a rescue from your local animal shelter, SPCA or rescue group. As the saying goes... Find your new best friend.

Wake County Animal Shelter Website

 

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/

Red and Blue Boat Joke and more | Beau Drawing | Willow Beast Drawing | See Spot Read | Lazy Dog Art on Etsy

Remain Calm Adopt a Dog
Today’s Jokes:

A red boat and blue boat crashed into each other on the ocean. All the passengers were marooned.

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A man walks into a health-food restaurant after a day at the office, sits down, and orders a nice big dish of brown rice and stir-fry veggies.
He grabs a handful of peanuts from the bowl on the counter by the cash register while he's waiting for his order, and as he starts to chew he hears a voice say, "That's a beautiful tie. Is that silk? Very NICE choice!"
Wondering who would make such a strange comment, he looks around and doesn't see anyone near him who could've been speaking to him. With a shrug, he pops a few more peanuts into his mouth.
Next he hears a voice, "Those shoes are stylin,' my man. Are they Italian leather? They look GRRREAT!"
He whirls around to again but sees no one near him. He glances nervously around and then at his shoes, which he tucks self-consciously under the stool.
A little weirded out, he grabs another handful of peanuts. This time the voice continues with, "That suit looks FANTASTIC! Is it an Armani? Very nice!"
He immediately calls the waiter over and says, "Look. I keep hearing these voices telling me how great my tie, my shoes, and my suit look. What's up with that? Am I going CRAZY?"
"Oh," the waiter nonchalantly replies, "those are just the peanuts."
"The PEANUTS?" the astonished man asks, staring at the bowl beside him.
"Yes," replies the waiter, "they're complimentary!"

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There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home, there I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve. Then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

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See Spot Read at Wake County Library

Wake County libraries have a program called "SEE SPOT READ" where volunteers bring in therapy dogs for all ages and all level of readers to read to.  

Vicky Horton and her dog Cassidy

The program seems to be an overall success with a constant line children with their parents waiting to read to each of the dogs. As Vicky mentions, in the above video, the dogs don't judge and this makes it easier for the children to read out loud.

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If you haven't checked out Mark Bell's Etsy website out, now is the time. We had several ornaments and some of Mark's original carvings left over from last weekend's Roxboro Holiday Extravaganza.  

Here are a couple of the ornaments for sale now on the website: https://www.etsy.com/shop/msbART

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Please check out my sponsors links and thanks for checking out my blog, Remain Calm Adopt a Dog.

Rick

apexgardner@gmail.com

http://apexlazydogblog.blogspot.com/

http://apexgardner.deviantart.com/ 

http://greenlivingisthelifeforme.blogspot.com/ 

@apexgardner (twitter)
www.linkedin.com/in/rickgardnernc/